Jokes

1) JACK: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do" TEACHER:" Of course not. ." JACK: "Good, because I haven't done my homework

2) If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

3) An American, a British and an Iraqi are in a bar one night having a beer. The Yankee drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In the States our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice." The Brit obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Britain we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either." The Iraqi, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the American and the Brit. He says "In Baghdad we have so many Americans and Brits that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice.


4) Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."Son: "My friend just borrows! Ad it. He wants to scare his parents."


5) One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.A "Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked. The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."